Winning vs. losing. Everyone wants to win, and everyone loves a winner. In youth sports, there are equal opportunities for each team to win or lose. Each is a learning experience. To win or lose helps to develop the character and drive of an athlete. The environment in which this occurs helps to provide for a fundamental foundation for a youth player to address future issues in sports, and in life.
Coaches & parents have a critical role in assisting a youth player to recognize the elements involved in either being a winner or having lost. How they rationalize a lost, or a win, helps them to deal with issues in their life.
Emphasis should be made by the coaches & parents that it is ‘effort’ that counts in trying to achieve a win. If the player has played their best and wins, that is a good feeling, as their effort has produced a win. If they don’t win, they need to be made to understand that this is not a failure on their part, as this is controlled by a myriad of other factors. The other team could have simply played ‘better’, by game strategies, or by exhibited skills of the opposing players.
The coach will need to evaluate all games, especially losses, to see what areas the team needs to work on for improved play. It will be necessary for the coach to impart to their team assessment areas that need working on. This should not be a ‘finger pointing’ item, aimed at any player, but focused on items that the team needs to work on. The important aspect being that a lost is a ‘team’ lost, due to factors that they need to work on, to get better. This examination process will also need to focus on how the coach develops the game play strategy for the team. The team may have to adjust this strategy, for each game, as all opponents are different.
The coach needs to ensure that they promote the aspect of respecting another team that has beat them, as the opposing team ‘earned’ the win. The aspect of being a ‘sore loser’ should not exist or be supported in any way by the action of the coach or allowed by team players. The players need to understand that losing happens, and you recover from it. It allows you to find weak spots in playing/strategy of the team, and to work on it for the future.
For youth, losing is a bummer, it takes the ‘fun’ out of playing. The aspect of the ‘lost’ needs to be translated into a ‘learning experience’, for understanding what might need to be done to improve play. A lost just indicates the possibility that the team needs to practice harder on some aspect of play, or strategy. This offers the aspect of working harder toward the goal of winning, through focus on skills improvement. This provides a path for becoming better in the sport, and the thinking process can help to overcome issues in life.
Losing a game, where there is no recognition of the elements that helped to cause the lost, and no working toward correcting the negative elements can cause a lost to weigh heavily on a player’s mind. Some players may play in a lethargic manner, or not want to play at all, if they are not provided a platform toward helping to curb loses. With the topic ‘on the table’, and the team actively working harder to rectify any issue, ‘hope’ is established for better results in their future. The aspect of ‘hope’ keeps the fun in the game, as each player is working toward achieving greater capability, which provides fun in itself.
As for the parent, the manner in which they handle a lost also affects the thinking of their player. Bad mouthing the referees, the opposing team, or even talking about players on their own team, in front of their player, should not happen. This affects the general attitude that their player has toward the game. It takes focus away from their play on the field, which may have helped the team to lose. It can leave a player with ‘negative’ thoughts, which affects the ‘fun’, and potential playing capability of the player.
RESOURCES
Sore Loser? How To Help Your Child Handle Losses
Teaching Kids Good Sportsmenship
Talking To Your Child About Winning and Losing
How To Deal With The Agony of Defeat
Youth Sports: The Psychology of Losing
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